literature

Ode to Condoms

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Literature Text

Near-Clear prophylactic
Requiring more than a little tactic
And level-headedness to apply
When concentration is erratic
(or erotic, just a thought…)

Saving those who, acting
Under not their minds and lacking
Knowledge that their mind’s eye
Is blurry from the six drinks they’ve been packing
(In the past two hours, likelier than not.)

To think of anything but pleasure.
Also do schoolboys treasure
The crinkling rainbow packets
By the drugstore register
(in jest, I suspect, are half the boxes bought.)

The many kinds, they measure
From ‘magnum’ down to miniature
And some men will make a racket
About their ‘endowment’ or ‘stature’
(usually no one checks if they have what they say they’ve got)

The whispered-about membranes
For saving people with bawdy brains
Who are not ready to take a crack at
Diapers, lotion, and grape juice stains.
(and not to mention all the snot)

So adore the stretchy latex
Lifestyles, Trojan and Durex
And if you need persuasion, here’s a proven fact:
kids are nowhere near as fun as sex.
(plus, kids will cost more money than you've got.)
An ode to condoms, just as it says.
gods, I'm clever.
© 2004 - 2024 mousch
Comments9
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kewl. That deserves applause. *claps enthusiastically*
:euphoria:

People think that the grass is always greener on the other side, well let me tell you something. There is no other side. This is the Everglades. You can't get out. The grass is always purple.